Today I'm showing you how to track down that tumbleweed that contains your small child. So grab a pot, a knife, and some rancid dog meat: we're gonna find that baby! Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion Follow Drew Cleary on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/troublehacker Follow Onion Digital Studios on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/oniondigstudios